Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Competitive
Triathlon season is over, and so is the recovery period after my Ironman. It is hard to believe that my last race was over a month ago, and I am now back to training as hard as ever. I am currently considering running a half marathon in Lawrence on October 2nd as a gauge to test my fitness for my big half marathon on December 5th in West Palm Beach Florida!
This morning I had a fantastic workout and noticed true improvement in my training. So many people seem to be thinking and wondering what is wrong with that person as they watch me run down the dirt roads and all over the area by myself. How on earth is he pushing himself up that hill this far away from town? All my hard work and drive comes from a deep competitive nature. I truly love to compete and be competitive in all I do. Competition is rooted in comparison. When I look at the world, I am instinctively aware of other people’s performance. Their performance is the ultimate measuring stick to measure my own success. No matter how hard I have tried, and no matter how worthy my intentions, if I reached my goal but did not outperform my fellow competitors, the achievement feels somewhat hollow. Just like all competitors, I need other people for comparison.
If I can compare, I can compete, and if I can compete, I can WIN. And when I win, there is no feeling like it. I love the measurement because it facilitates comparisons. I like other competitors because they invigorate me. I like contests because they must produce a winner; I particularly like contests where I know I might have the inside track to be the winner. Although I consider myself as being gracious to my fellow competitors and even stoic in defeat, I do not compete for the fun of competing. Brent Bailey competes to win. This brings me back to my hard training months away from a truly important race. I must lay the ground work to allow myself to win.
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